Most individuals who are homosexual agree that “coming out” to peers and family is a difficult and emotionally draining process. However, for Jerome Santos, senior, overcoming this stressful step has changed his life for the better.

Santos, senior, AP student and varsity wrestling co-captain, first came out about his orientation in the early months of his freshman year through a MySpace blog post. Blunt and to the point, Santos summed up his ambivalence for the female gender and his attraction to males.

Coming out
“I was just tired of having to hide and put on a façade,“ Santos said. “Coming out is an extremely difficult process, but you have to know who you are. The most important part is being comfortable with yourself.”

Santos had known he was gay for a while before posting the blog.

“When I was six, I would always pick the cutest bathroom buddy. There were red flags since I was born but I didn’t connect the dots until sixth grade when the school showed us the sex educational video,” said Santos in a YouTube video blog. “I didn’t want to be gay—it is a harder life.”

Family and religion
Also mentioned in his YouTube videos was the conversation he had with his lesbian sister after coming out through an online message.

“We had one of those progressive life lesson talks,” said a younger Santos in the video. “She wanted me to watch out.”

Santos describes his parents as very supporting and accepting, but religious as well.

“They don’t mind having boyfriends over, but they have their religious moments,” Santos said.

“I was worried about his safety—in the ‘60s, being gay was a death sentence socially and professionally,” said Lourdes Santos, Jerome’s mother. “I was taught that gays were evil, but it’s very different than that now.”

Santos claims his father, Antonio Santos, has not directly talked to him concerning his orientation, saying he has “passive silent acceptance.”

‘The same person’
As for the aftermath of his revelation, Santos received the same equal treatment as always.

“I came to school expecting trouble, but nothing happened,” said Santos. “So many people seemed to be in awe.”

Jonny McGowan, senior and longtime best friend of Santos, said, “It was a shock more than anything. He’s good at keeping secrets. But he’s the same person.”

Jonathan Quiming, English teacher, shares the same opinion as McGowan, as he said, “Wherever Jerome goes in his life, he will always find a way to draw people to him because of who he is.”

Santos’ attempt to build bridges between the two communities with the creation of Gay-Straight Alliance last year, a club whose existence in the nation’s schools is up 20 percent from 2001, was not met with much success.

“Last year we did not do that well because we didn’t really have strong leadership. We are trying to promote everyone to be okay with who they are,” said Quiming, GSA advisor.

However, Santos states that the club is trying harder this year to make the undeniable existence of homosexuality.

“We’re trying to get everyone to understand and accept,” says Jack Russo, senior and GSA member. “Also to find support for those who have been bullied.”

Growing tolerance
Commenting on his own experiences with being gay, Russo admits to sporadic tough times, but states he surrounds himself with supportive people.

“For the most part, Jerome and I have had it pretty easy in Brea,” said Russo. “All bullying is under the table and verbal. Occasionally someone will say something, but we let it roll off our backs and try not to let it bother us.”

The growing tolerance gay teens experience contrasts with the lack of tolerance in past decades, including the 1990s.

“The ‘90s had more of a stigma so I’m not sure I’d have the confidence to come out then,” commented Santos. “It’s more accepting now, people are educated.”

However, increased lenience has not brought the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community access to the same rights as everyone else.

With the recent repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, a policy that prohibits openly gay soldiers from serving in the military, the LGBT populace is now awaiting the federal legalization of same-sex marriage.

Around the world, the sentiments or legality of it vary; homosexuality is frequently permitted, but same-sex marriage often goes unrecognized.

Canada and a few European nations have made gay marriage legal, but parts of the Middle East and Africa, where it is largely illegal, declare penalty by prison or death.

Affect on teens
Laws aside, the intolerance of homosexuality has taken its toll on teens.

During September 2010 alone, at least six gay teens took their lives in the United States.

“[Gay teens] get a lot of trouble and they don’t deserve it,” states Santos. “These kids feel lost and alone, with no one to relate to. It’s a problem.”

The stereotypical homosexual male that familiarizes itself with people’s minds is the flamboyant, effeminate one who speaks with a distinct lisp and has primarily female friends. Those are type who bullies are attracted to targeting online or otherwise, a common source of depression and low self-esteem for gay teens.

“It’s not good or bad, too manly or feminine—it’s human,” added Santos. “Right now, being gay doesn’t adhere to the laws of society.”

In regards to how Santos is affected at school, McGowan says, “He gets a little trouble, but he does well. A lot of kids come to him asking ‘how’d you do it’ and stuff. He’s a role model.”

Homosexuality also has its affect on a global level. Television shows have also started including more gay characters, including Glee’s Kurt Hummel, portrayed by Chris Colfer.

Entertainment Weekly delved into the topic in a January issue, pinning progress to the existence of his character and the focus surrounding his sexuality and the bullying that follows. ABC’s Modern Family features characters who add a comedic spin to the issue of gay marriage.

As for Santos, revealing his sexuality received a response unlike one he was expecting.

Santos commented on this, saying, “I believe my coming out was riddled with luck. I was so blessed because I had all these people who loved me, supported me, and accepted me. People should not be afraid of coming out because there will always be people in any community that will support you.”